A subterranean headquarters in a underground cave. SHUBAKA is waking up all groggy and there is a crowd of guys around him wearing army outfits and camouflage pants tucked into shiny black boots. They are all super ripped and holding grenades and machine guns. Some of them have Uzis. Others have Glocks (9mm). One guy has a Berreta tactical pump gun, with a synthetic stock, and the whole thing is black so it can be concealed at night.
SHUBAKA is like, "huh, where the hell am I? Is this heaven?" This makes the commando dudes laugh. "More like hell!"
One of them who the audience recognizes as the EXECUTIONER says, "Relax, you sorry piece of human refuse. You are not dead we only gave you a powerful tranquilizer so that society thinks you are dead. Welcome to S.C.O.R.P.I.O.N. which stands for Secret Commando Operatives Reserved for Protection against Infiltration of Our Nation."
SHUBAKA nods. "I heard rumors of you before but I thought it was all bullshit made up by the man to keep me down."
"I am COMMANDER GRANITE. We were all murderers and thieves and gang warlords set up to be executed but because of our, uh, special (ha ha!) experiences and skills in nefarious bullshit the very government that was going to light us up with thousands of volts or deliver the hot shot snatched us up to put us to work protecting the very society that was all set to throw us in the trash can of history.”
We meet the men of S.C.O.R.P.I.O.N.:
-- A guy who on the outside was a notorious arsonist everyone calls him SPARKY. He is a fire specialist. (SOUNDTRACK: Black Crowes HARD TO HANDLE)
--One guy was a safecracker named KNUCKLES because he is always cracking his knuckles before cracking a safe and his specialty is lockpicking and shit like that. Somewhere in the movie he gets to say "I can cut through that titanium lock like it was butter." (SOUNDTRACK: Steve Miller ABRACADABRA)
--There is also a master of disguise, a reformed mugger who can beat confessions out of anybody. All sorts of criminals EXCEPT no child molesters.
SHUBAKA laughs a diabolical laugh. "The hell with it, man. I may be a murdering drug dealing rapist pimp serial killer but I ain't stupid! Like I'm gonna fight for the liberty and freedom of the country that was going to shoot me full of poison in my veins. Sayonara, General Patton, I'm getting the hell out of here."
"There is no way out you idiot, unless you want to be killed. We have done some surgery on you while you were unconscious and there is now the equivalent of enough TNT that was in the Nagasaki bomb implanted in a chip somewhere in your head. If you say no to our offer to join SCORPION we have no choice but to blow you to pieces. The rest of the world thinks you're dead anyway. You have ten minutes to think it over. If you say no, we say goodbye to your ass only this time for real, this time!"
The guy hits a button and we some bright red numbers on a timing device start counting down from 10:00. The commandos leave the room. SHUBAKA is screaming, "Wait, you can't do this to me, you crazy bastards!" The giant steel door slams and the silence is like unbelievable. Then SHUBAKA starts screaming again and maybe even puking he is so scared. Right before the clock counts down he screams out, "Yes, fine! I will do it! I will help protect America!" So he is saved.
